FRISCO

Social progressiveness is an intoxicating cultural formula for the liberal establishment and their love affair with moral relevancy. For a liberal leaning person to effectively assuage their internal conflict and guilt they must continually come up with novel methods of tweaking societal norms to create a new, albeit temporary personal emotional high for themselves. This “progressive” ideology creates in their minds and hearts a vital positive life vibe, thus protecting their soft underbelly of vulnerability from the emotional harshness of the real.

At the risk of sounding sympathetic, social progressiveness is in its barest and least aggressive form, a coping mechanism for those who have a hard time finding an emotional enclave in their psyche where they can put away the ugliness and pain that they feel when real happens. I believe that is why you often here the term “utopia” thrown around when talking heads attempt to figure out how liberal mindsets develop and why they do what they do. A perfect world doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t hurt to wish for one. I for one hope they succeed some day; but I fear their modus operandi is flawed, which unfortunately is the case with the human race itself.

The big hiccup in this progressive drive for utopia is that imperfect humans will be the ones trying to socially engineer a perfect world. Humans are diverse in their culture, beliefs and life priorities and so their definition of a perfect society will also vary. A good example of the imperfect attempting to create “their” concept of utopia is the beautiful city of San Francisco.

Policy makers and city leaders for San Francisco have embarked on an ambitious journey. They are looking for Utopia. Along this journey of progressive discovery they have concluded that where there is free will there can be no true utopia. Uh oh. The citizens of this great city have been relegated to “lab rat” status and the cultural elite whom drive the decision makers understand the need for control in their quest for the perfect society. Frisco has established or is in the process of establishing a list of interesting yet troubling new standards and local laws that are either overly accommodating or severely restricting depending on “their” idea of perfection. Among them;

A city employee benefit that provides for a sex change operation at the city’s expense.(that means tax payer expense for you occupy a park people) The city will also pay for one sex change reversal if you are not happy with your first decision! I have not been able to determine if this benefit has been eliminated in the last couple of years. And along this same line;

The city provides a separate locker and restroom facilities in several major city buildings for those who are “Tweeners” in the sex change game. Yes, a third locker room if you will for those who are in the nether world of amorphous sexual hermaphroditic chaos and are still travelling down the road to an innie or an outie.

Of course you have all heard by now that fast food restaurants in Frisco can no longer provide toys in their kid’s meals. Utopian health officials have declared this an unacceptable act of capitalist trickery, so parents have had their parenting powers permanently suspended when it comes to food and toys.  

Those who work as waiters and waitresses in restaurants in the city are by local law provided free basic health care, because in Utopia everyone has medical coverage. Of course the costs for this bennie are transferred to the restaurant customers and are added as a non negotiable charge to their meal bill. See how “free” works in Utopia? Well as was bound to happen, customers who did not necessarily feel overly encumbered with a civic duty to pay the servers health care costs reduced their tips by the same amount as the add on charge. Go figure! The utopian policy wonks were not to be out done however and decided that a mandatory 25% tip be inked into local law for customers eating in all San Fran eateries. Now the choice has been taken away from the customer all together. Would anyone like to guess what will happen next?

San Francisco has tall buildings and birds. Every now and again, a bird will fly into a window and die. I’m guessing this is unacceptable in a perfect society because city officials are considering passing a new law requiring all buildings to be retrofitted with bird proof windows. Industry standards show these windows to be three times less energy efficient and three times more expensive. So the bird brains who want to bird proof city buildings hired a bird expert. The bird expert explained to the bird brains that most deceased birds in the city limits die of causes other then window encounters. City officials have put this agenda item on hold while they grapple with how to appear as cutting edge progressives while also making the logical decision to forget the whole stupid idea.

San Francisco utopianites sincerely care about the welfare of its lab rats, I mean citizens. So much so that they have considered passing yet another feel good law that requires any cell phone purchased in the city limits to have a sticker attached which clearly displays the level of cancer causing radiation that each phones emits. During their rush to get this ordinance pushed through city hall they failed investigate whether they even knew what they were talking about. When something just “feels” right, facts can get in the way and ruin the party; which is precisely what happened. A radiation expert walked into the city council meeting and informed them that the radiation emitted from a standard cell phone device doesn’t cause cancer anymore then watching a TV or eating seafood. Agenda item on hold pending further feelings.

Conventional utopian wisdom holds that clothing should be optional in a perfect society. Citizens of Frisco should not have to feel ashamed of their unclothed bodies so city hall has ordered the police department to cease all enforcement of indecent exposure laws, with the exception of a citizen’s arrest. Everyone is free to express themselves, to frolic freely in the buff in and around the great city. Utopia! But wait………..

It has recently been brought to the attention of the city social designers that naked people leak! Sitting on a cable car seat or park bench vacated by a nudist can be a hygienic dilemma. Nobody in utopia should have to touch someone else’s moisture trails and fluid samples! Soooooo…….. We need another law! A local elected official named Anthony Weener (I’m serious) has suggested that a new city ordinance be passed requiring all naked people to put down a towel whenever and wherever they sit during their nakedness experiences.  We can call it the Weener rule.

Rumor has it that Frisco dog owners may soon be required to walk their dogs with diapers on. Visible excrement is in direct violation of acceptable utopian society standards. The egress of internal waste matter is something of a grey area in utopia. Experts are working it out now.

I could go on forever, but I will leave you with this last bit of the Frisco utopian philosophy. City hall has declared San Francisco a sanctuary city for all illegal aliens who choose to live there. It’s all smoke and mirrors of course because there’s actually no such thing, but by virtue of their declaration they have freed themselves from their guilt, which is forbidden in utopia. Ironically, they have also declared themselves a non sex offender city. They propose that no location inside Frisco is legally available to house sex offenders. So there! In utopia, you get to pretend that your family and children are safe, while having not the slightest idea where the predators are lurking!

So this great experiment by the bay keeps moving forward. From where I sit, this wanna be perfect society, forged and funneled into socially progressive caveats and conditions doesn’t look so great under the hood. It sure is pretty to look at though.