BUTTINSKI

There are times, albeit few, when I succumb to the curious allure inherent in listening to other peoples conversations in public. Truth be told, the vast majority of my time running errands around town is dedicated to getting from point A to point B as quickly and efficiently as possible which leaves precious little free time for eavesdropping on others. I usually just don’t care because most conversations between two or more people in public usually revolve around dynamic, life altering topics like the weather, hairstyle, food or someone’s kid. Yesterday was different.

Last night I strolled into my neighborhood Raley’s to pick up a thing or two and walked over to the express checkout line. The store was fairly crowded and the express lane had six or seven people in front of me. I walked up to a young woman and man and took my place in line. I noticed as I approached them they were engaged in some kind of fairly animated conversation and based on their attire I concluded they must be together. The woman appeared to be the one directing the conversation and as I grew close I was able to hear everything she was saying. She didn’t seem overly concerned about using her “inside voice”. It became clear very soon that the conversation was in reality a lecture of some sort, or a training observation for the 20 year old lad standing subserviently next to her.

The female looked to be in her mid twenties. She had a horrifying mountain of matted, filthy hair shoved underneath a rainbow colored woven beanie. Locks of equally disgusting hair matter draped down her shoulders and back. She had multiple piercings on her face and it looked like she had one eyebrow shaved off. She wore a tattered dirty white tank top that barely concealed her sagging mcguffey’s, which were currently not under the control of a suspension device of any type. She was wearing a loose multi-colored lacey dress and old worn leather sandals. She wasn’t heavy, but her frame indicated it could be possibility at some point. The male was dressed in old cargo pants and a white tank top, with a just a couple of holes in his face. She was holding a few plastic bags which looked to contain small amounts of greens and possibly peppers and a stick of Rhubarb. For the purpose of identification from here on….I shall call this woman ‘Sunflower” and the young man, “Grasshopper”. Here’s what went down…….  

Sunflower was pointing out to Grasshopper all the customers in the store who had large amounts of food in their carts. Sunflower informed Grasshopper that all these “people” had way more food then they needed to survive and most of what they had would go to waste, which was a sin of the earth and of the human race. Grasshopper nodded in agreement. Sunflower then told the Hopper that it was those who hoarded the food that forced them(flower and hopper) to subsist on so much less. Grasshopper eagerly took in his life lesson from Sunflower and shook his head in acknowledgement/disgust. She finished with the following statement; “As long as life’s fortunate continue to ignore us and our place in the world, there will never be true peace and understanding. Our hunger is their sin.”

Several people in line turned and looked at Sunflower in amusement and disappointment. She did not look at anybody directly. At least not until yours truly opened his pie hole:

Me; “excuse me young lady, are you hungry?’

Flower; “Excuse me; I was not talking to you.”

Me; “I’m sorry but I overheard you say that you were hungry and I would like to help. I am willing to buy you a cart full of groceries if you are in need and hungry. I’m being sincere.”

Flower; (in a condescending tone) “Is that something that would make you feel better? Is that something you want to do?”

Me; “ I simply offered to help you young lady, but from your tone I will assume you don’t want any. I was just being polite. Forget it.”

Flower;(nodding to grasshopper) “See?”

Grasshopper; (nodding) “uh huh”

……………………………………….

Sunflower was now having her items processed and she reached into a small satchel hanging from a leather twine around her neck that I had not noticed before. We had ceased our conversation and were strangers again. Flower seemed reluctant to pull her hand out of the satchel as she glanced briefly down in my direction toward my feet. It took me exactly one milli-second to figure out why. My opportunity to be a great big ass hole had arrived and I was not about to let it pass. I turned my body toward her, leaned my right hand on the counter, crossed my right foot over my left and looked straight at her. She reluctantly pulled out her government EBT card and slid it through the reader. I swallowed the words that were screaming to get out. I couldn’t do it. I actually felt bad about the whole situation now.  I felt bad for her. She was embarrassed and I even detected a sense that she now felt a little ashamed about her behavior towards me earlier. I now wished for the awkward moment to conclude, but a man standing behind me who had listened to the whole conversation couldn’t let it go and said, “Well how about that. It looks like we are all buying your groceries today after all!”

The lady working the register shot a horrifying glance at the man. Flower showed us all her favorite finger and dropped the “F YOU!” bomb for everyone in the store to hear. I was now completely embarrassed and wondered how things went screwy so fast. I’m sure the few of us standing there wished we could unzip our skin and crawl away. There was shame all around. Sunflower defiantly grabbed her receipt and stormed out the door, with Grasshopper in tow. The whole sad episode was my fault.

You see……..I was not totally sincere when I initially offered to buy Sunflower a cartful of groceries. I would have certainly done it had she accepted my offer but I had an ulterior motive. I was going to teach her a valuable lesson. I wanted to teach Sunflower an important life lesson but she needed to accept my invitation to buy her groceries in order for me to implement my plan. The plan itself is irrelevant here.  What is relevant is her deep seated mistrust that she displayed to me.

Sunflower will go back to her living environment and share the story with her roommates or friends. She will undoubtedly paint every one of us as capitalistic heartless jerks who wanted to have a bit of fun at her expense and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. Her interpretation of the events at Raley’s  will make it all the more easy for her to have her demons, to convince future Grasshoppers that they are victims and further convince herself that she is not a welcome part of this great society…………………………………. because to me she is.