PARDON MY INCEPTION

A female Georgetown law student by the name of Sandra Fluke was verbally assaulted by Rush Limbaugh during one of his radio talk shows last week. Fluke had previously testified before a congressional committee regarding the forced contraception mandate issue and Limbaugh used her as an example of the absurd by being absurd; a tactic long used by Rush as a method by which to paint a clear picture for his listeners. Fluke explained to the committee that the cost for her to purchase birth control for the entirety of her law school experience could be as much as $3,000. Rush pounced on her like a hungry hyena and used some inappropriate language to describe Fluke’s lifestyle while exposing the absurdity of the emperor’s new mandate by claiming Fluke would like taxpayers to foot the bill for her to have gargantuan amounts of sex while she gets her law degree. Rush also called her a name normally reserved for woman who by trade get paid to have sex with their customers.

Limbaugh in my opinion showed no class and used poor judgment by using a young female college student to detail his points on the whole contraception mandate. Never mind that Miss Fluke put herself out as a target by getting involved in the whole debate on such a public forum. Never the less she is somebody’s daughter and has a right to make her opinion known without being called a prostitute by a nationally syndicated radio talk show personality. Anyone who has listened to Rush for any length of time knew exactly what he was doing and why. Now lets get to the issue.

Fluke laid it out clearly in her dissertation before the committee and I want my valued and respected female readers to help me out here. What is the government doing forcing health care organizations to provide free contraception to woman? Do you (females) really want the government in your bedroom? Do you really need a government mandated entitlement present in your personal sex life? Has it ever been or is it now a significant issue in your life? Have you ever been put into financial hardship or had difficulty obtaining birth control when and if you needed it?  I’m not setting up an argument here; I really want to know because from my perspective this is all so crazy it’s hard for me to be serious about it.

The last time I checked, free contraceptive devices were already available by your local department of human assistance and several private local organizations if you could not afford to buy them. And isn’t it a personal issue for each individual woman as to how they treat the subject of birth control relative to their personal beliefs and lifestyle? I can’t fathom any woman, from the tree hugging left to the radical right, wanting the government of the United States involved in this issue what so ever( I will show you how wrong I am later). Is it even an issue at all or is this just another step by the emperor to fling us into the Orwellian abyss?

Rush did his fellow conservatives no favors by tearing into Miss Fluke. Like zombies who are awakened and turned into frenzied cannibals by the scent of blood, the emperor’s media machine sniffed out the smell of gender warfare and put their republican hater game plan into effect. The emperor’s mouth pieces immediately churned out a succession of reports on their lightly viewed cable networks that Rush Limbaugh’s comments were representative of the entire Republican Party’s historical desire to control woman’s reproductive rights and take away their freedoms. Really? If anyone reading this honestly thinks there is any legitimacy to that I would like to hear from you. This issue is yours to the extent that this particular mandate affects woman. I wouldn’t dare assume to have a clue about what you may be feeling but the emperor feels he has just found a way to secure the young female voter in this country by manufacturing another victimization scenario based on a newly created freebee. Is he right?

My personal experience with woman leads me to believe that the emperor has miscalculated his target audience and has directly insulted your intelligence. I think he mistakenly clumped you in with his new army of welfare dependants. But I know that unlike men, who have maybe three or four wires in their head that control food, sex and sleep, woman have multiple harnesses of wiring going in a billion different directions, computing and analyzing a gazillion inputs all at the same time. It can be frightening. How does Barry not know that? Does his arrogance transcend common sense? Or is he a genius in that he feels gender warfare will have the same success that he is having with class warfare and race warfare? Is the younger generation of woman today less sophisticated and intelligent? I don’t see it. Somehow I don’t see the woman in my life and work place going to a park in order to protest and poop. The woman I know managed to cope with the complexities of contraception without the emperor’s help. They also managed to have careers and raise families without his guidance. If there is truly a problem with the female contraception issue, is it because woman are having difficulty accessing it or affording it? Or is it more a matter of personal accountability and responsibility for a man and woman? A little of both? Does today’s woman need or want to be sexually tethered to Big brother? Come on ladies…….give this old cave man a little sumpim sumpin to think about.

Illustrating absurdity by being absurd is Limbaugh’s Modus Operandi and probably not the best time right now for me to do his bit, but I no tact anyway so here we go. I watch PGA Golf. Apparently the networks that broadcast the golf tournaments think every man watching has erectile dysfunction because every other commercial is an advertisement for “woody” medication. Ok. So old guys like to watch golf, and some old guys tend to loose their flumparumpkin as they get older. Can I anticipate then that someday soon the emperor will be issuing another mandate to HMO’s that forces them to provide free hardening agents to all men who need them? In no way do I mean to compare this to the female contraception issue but if the emperor will get involved in a woman’s birth control, what’s next? Will I (knock on wood; excuse the pun) someday be entitled to this medication free as a “right” because I am a victim of the dreaded flumparumkin?

Now as for poor Miss Sandra Fluke. I would like to expose this woman for who she really is. Fluke has described herself as a third year law student at Georgetown University, and indeed, that is what she is. However, contrary to the sad sack of innocent victimhood that portrays her as a innocent little 23-year-old girl caught without contraception on a college campus full of predatory men, Fluke herself is really a 30-year-old women‘s rights activist who not only didn’t get caught without contraception at Georgetown, but specifically knew the university didn’t cover it and chose to attend for precisely that reason. In one of her first interviews she is quoted as talking about how she reviewed Georgetown’s insurance policy prior to committing to attend, and seeing that it didn’t cover contraceptive services, she decided to attend with the express purpose of battling this policy. I wonder if the emperor knew this before he personally called her to share in her pain and suffering.    

Never the less, shame on Rush. Regardless of the politically charged atmosphere surrounding our increasingly divided country, we need to observe limits and put forth at least a modicum of civility in our discourse and disagreements. Insulting the ideas is one thing, calling someone a personally vulgar and completely false name is quite another, even when that person is a lying, ethically vacant liberal left wing wolf in sheep’s clothing and arguably deserves no better. Maybe it was just a Fluke.